Ken Wilber Discusses His Romantic Relationships & Fatherhood

Ken Wilber


Ken Wilber Discusses His Romantic Relationships & Fatherhood
By David Sunfellow

19 minutes, 40 seconds into this interview, Ken Wilber talks about his romantic relationships, past and present. Among other things, Wilber mentions “all four quadrants come alive when you’ve got hormones and love and Eros and everything going…” He also mentions that his romantic relationships tend to run in 10 year cycles and that he has discovered through conversations with close male friends who had two or more children that men who become fathers find more fulfillment in their children than in their work. Says Wilber, “When I was trying to rationally think my way through it, I asked about a half dozen of my best men friends who had kids… guys who were really into their work — and all of them had at least two kids, some had three, one had four — and I said, ‘look, don’t jerk me around now because I really am trying to make up my mind here so just tell me the truth and I swear I won’t tell anybody if you say you hate your kids and don’t want to have them… If you had to do it over, would you have kids?’ And every single one of them — six out of six — said not only would they do it, it was by far the most important thing in their life… If they had to give up their kid, or their work, easily the work would get it.”


Listen to the discussion (MP3)


Integral Naked
August 25, 2005

Original Link

Rick Rubin has long been regarded by the most astute minds in the music business as an oracle in forecasting what’s to come. Never having met a musical boundary he wasn’t inclined to break, this genre-busting audiophile practically invented rap-rock and has produced artists as diverse as The Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nails, and Neil Diamond.

Twenty years after establishing a name for himself, Rick is one of the most sought after producers in the industry, and he’s still not afraid of taking chances. What would happen if instead of working with young, new, or relatively unknown artists he decided to produce a “great,” and a “grown-up great” at that? Well, what did happen is his extensive collaboration with the late, legendary Johnny Cash, and in this dialogue, Rick shares with Ken the significance of this now famous partnership.

By no means has Rick opted to now limit himself to “grown-up greats,” and he offers a report on the status of some other major projects in his pipeline. Acting again as producer for new albums by both Audioslave and System of a Down, Rick and Ken remark over the inexplicable phenomenon of the latter, commenting on the beauty of System’s success given the fact that they defy — or more accurately, transcend and include — just about all known categories. (Inexplicable, that is, until Rick points out that more than liking any particular genre, most people simply like things that are really good.)

Rick once said, “There’s nothing better than telling the truth. It’s really about falling in love.” This statement bears special significance as here the dialogue shifts from rock to romance. Is Rick currently in love? Is Ken? With Ken waxing poetic about the wonders of “hormones, love, and Eros going on in all four quadrants,” it leads one to wonder.

Whatever the case, Ken addresses the nature of his romantic relationships, both past and present, relating the story of the transformative relationship he shared with his late wife, Treya. Together, Rick and Ken extol the wonders of romantic love, while flirting with the topic of fatherhood and what such a thing would mean to their work and intimate relationships. Does Mother Nature pull a fast one on fathers? Is it really possible that men would choose to have children instead of total dedication to a deeply satisfying career? Is it really possible to love your child a hundred times more than your beloved dog? And is all that goofy stuff about romantic love actually true?