NDE Joke: A Face-Lift, Liposuction, Breast Implants And A Tummy Tuck… (Updated)

NDE Joke: A Face-Lift, Liposuction, Breast Implants And A Tummy Tuck… (Updated)

Jul 13


A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”

God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied:

“I didn’t recognize you.”

Moral of the story: God loves you the way you are.


Thanks to Barbara Whitfield for sharing this jewel. Dr. Rajiv Sinha has a related post on NHNE’s Main NDE Network.



• NDE Articles on Pulse
• Pulse on NDEs
• How Near-Death Experiences Are Changing The World
• The Formula for Creating Heaven on Earth
• The Light & The Life Review
• The Essence of Near-Death Experiences (In 8.5 Minutes)
• Powerful, Life-Changing Near-Death Experience Quotes
• When Loved Ones & Friends Pass From This World To The Next
• NDE Stories
• NHNE’s Collection of NDE Testimonials – Archive One
• NHNE’s Collection of NDE Testimonials – Archive Two
• Historical Near-Death Experiences
• Celebrity Near-Death Experiences
• NDEs & Hell
• NDEs NOT Caused by Malfunctioning Brains
• NDE Take-Aways
• The Mustard Seed Venture – NewHeaveNewEarth Community Center
• NHNE NDE Social Network
• NHNE NDE on Facebook
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• NHNE NDE on Twitter
• NHNE NDE Bookstore



  1. Favorite Daughter

    Oh daddy, i loved this story! It made me laugh out loud :) I’m very happy to be who i am and be raised the way i was, i want to be recognized :) love you and all your great stories!

  2. Hey Pod. Nice to see you visiting Pulse. And I don’t think you need to worry about not being recognized. You’ve more angels following you around than almost anybody I know…

  3. David, this is a gem! I love the picture that goes with it too.

    Sometimes my vanity kicks in, when I see my face & body aging, so I can relate to someone thinking that way. But I always reach the same conclusion…. just let it go and stay fit. That’s all that’s required of me, cosmetically, in my opinion. My beauty regimen can be summed up simply: Stay fit, stay positive, eat organic and local.

  4. “Stay fit, stay positive, eat organic and local.” — I like it! Good, solid advice, I think. You need to turn this into a bumper sticker.

  5. Hi Nhnepulse,
    I was wondering on a similar note,, One of the more common operations to those who are aging and starting to notice unwanted wrinkles and sagging skin, is that of the face lift. But still today many people still ask if the face lift is painful. They hear stories on the internet and their local news about issues and complications associated with various plastic surgeries, but too few people talk about the good procedures.

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