Dream: The Young Couple

Dream: The Young Couple

Feb 15


By David Sunfellow
February 14-15, 2012

I had the sweetest little dream last night. It grew out of trying, once again, to come to a deeper understanding of how to relate to other people. When should we go along with something; when should we opt out, how can we go along or opt out in a good way; a way that leaves both people feeling seen, loved, appreciated?

In the dream, there was a young couple who had just gotten married and never had sex. They were enthusiastic about their relationship, but nervous, insecure, and unsure about sex, and themselves. How does this whole sex thing work? What should they do, think, feel?

They were talking to a sweet woman, who was a counselor. With great tenderness, she told them that things were very simple. All you need to do is ask the other person “How does this feel? Does this feel good to you? Do you like it? Am I touching you the way you like to be touched? More? Less? Here? There?”

The key, she said, was communicating — and caring about the other person. If you communicated, cared, and didn’t try to force the other person to do or be something that they felt uncomfortable about, all would be well.

Then I woke up feeling like I had eavesdropped on one of the sweetest conversations ever.

In the off chance that you might find this dream helpful, I thought I would pass it along.



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  1. Clint Summer

    Great dream, David! Yes, communication is everything in relationships. Having the agreement that we support each other in sharing all that is true for us about any shared experience before we do it – and not doing it until we both feel fully ready – is what I see as essential for a conscious relationship. And it seems to me that when we can share the whole truth in responsible, caring ways (without blame or judgment), our truth can be heard and accepted with understanding and compassion.

  2. Karl Frederick

    Wise, gentle, and very sweet, David! Seems an encouraging portent. Perhaps you are about to embark on a personal deepening of creative forces — a more fully embodied phase of life. Thanks for sharing the dream.

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